omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
