so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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