worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
