I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
