Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
