soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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