You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You made out with two different species that night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize