What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
