Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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