The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
