hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
