Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
A+ Viking dick
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
