were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
