bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
