I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
