the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
