I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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