Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
from now on my penis is your penis
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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