All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
