Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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