So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she woke up with a sticky ear
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize