if i can run in heels then i can drive
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need moral support for this bender
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
