gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize