I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
