i just wanna soil my oats bro
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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