i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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