Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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