I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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