awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
