The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize