You're my little dorito
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Houston, we have a squirter
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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