Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
