i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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