Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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