While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
