So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
