Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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