ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
