I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
