saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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