so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
