Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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