I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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