I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize