kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I woke up under a house in Key West
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
