i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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