i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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