Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
