As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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