im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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