let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
