PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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