perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
