should my penis look like a turkey
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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