i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
