I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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