I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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