I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
