im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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