This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
