I puked a lego.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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