I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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