69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's official drugs can't kill me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know her cup size but not her name....
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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