I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dicks are not precious.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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