we're blogging at a bar
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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