Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
