It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
